Why Can’t I Sleep Without My Partner?

If you’ve been with someone for a while, some things can be challenging to do on your own. Take, for instance, sleeping.

Why can’t I sleep without my partner? When you’ve been sharing a bed with your partner for a long time, you fall into a routine of sleeping by each other’s side every night. You may feel comforted or safe by their presence. When they’re not there, it can be a difficult change to get used to.

Woman Alone in Bed

How Your Partner Affects Your Capability To Sleep

From the National Sleep Foundation, 23% of American couples sleep apart while the remaining 77% sleep better when sharing their beds with their partner. These statistics prove that the majority of people tend to sleep better with their significant other in comparison to sleeping alone.

There is a scientific explanation on how your significant other affects your capability to sleep: Research shows that cuddling and physical touch release oxytocin, which is most commonly referred to as the “love hormone” or “cuddle hormone”. This hormone has physical and psychological effects, including influencing social behavior and emotion. In most cases, oxytocin provides a sense of comfort and relaxation. When an individual shares a bed with a partner every night for a long time, they will grow accustomed to this sense of familiarity. Without the partner, an individual may feel uncomfortable and may find it challenging to sleep alone.

Reasons Why You Have Trouble Sleeping Alone

  1. Habit – In most cases, sleeping alone becomes an issue when it is simply not an individual is used to. If one has grown accustomed to sharing a bed with a partner, it can be challenging to sleep alone. Studies also prove that the loneliness that comes with feeling alone may result in various sleep problems.
  2. Fear – For some, it’s more of a safety issue. Perhaps you may not feel safe being alone at night in your home. This issue applies specifically to those who live with any anxiety or panic disorder, resulting in immense fear of being alone, especially at night. Some people even have a fear of sleep itself, somniphobia.
  3. Hormones – Cuddling, snuggling, or any physical touch releases oxytocin, a hormone that most people find comforting and relaxing. Without your partner, it may feel unfamiliar to sleep alone due to the lack of oxytocin hormones.

How Can I Sleep Without My Partner?

Woman Sleeping Alone

Being away from your partner is inevitable. There are times that your partner may be on a trip or is too busy at work to join you, and you’re left with no choice but go to bed alone. Fortunately, there are many tips you can try to help you sleep without your partner. Listed below are a few ideas on how to sleep when your partner is away:

1. Use a Body Pillow

If you’re used to snuggling and cuddling with your partner as you sleep, it could be challenging for you to sleep when your partner is away. Having a body pillow will help fill the absence on the other side of your bed. A great pillow is the Snuggle-Pedic Ultra-Luxury Bamboo Shredded Memory Foam Full Size Body Pillow (view on Amazon). What makes it an ideal body pillow is its massive size perfect for your body, fluffiness, and its conforming shape that supports you as you sleep whether you’re on your side, stomach, or in between. It is also hypoallergenic and dust mite resistance.

If you’re not a fan of massive pillows and wanted to something extra, a great alternative to this is the Boyfriend Pillow (view on Amazon). This pillow is the perfect companion when your partner is not around. It resembles a virtual hug pillow, featuring a body and an arm that is formed perfectly for your head to rest atop. It is made of pure cotton, which provides the ultimate comfort and relaxation. With these pillows, the bed would never feel empty again.

2. Sleep With A Sound Machine

Sound machines are mainly known for releasing white noise, which is a collection of sounds that has equal intensity through the audible range. It creates a uniform and synchronized sound that is ideal for masking loud disruptions and boost relaxation. However, not all white noise is created equal – some have a higher frequency than others, which can be irritating for some people – that’s why you must choose a sound machine that you will opt for carefully.

When considering getting a sound machine, the Marpac Whish White Noise Sound Machine (view on Amazon) is your best bet. This compact sound machine has less high-frequency sound, which results in a more soothing experience. Also, it features 16 relaxing sounds to choose from and robust volume control and timer. You can set the timer for how long you want to keep it on, and it will automatically turn off while you sleep, unlike most sound machines that require to be manually turned off.

3. Get Yourself A Weighted Blanket

On nights when your partner isn’t around, it may seem colder due to the lack of natural body heat. And that’s where the Quality Premium Adult Weighted Blanket (view on Amazon) comes in to help you sleep better.

The level of comfort it offers is as good as a hug or a snuggle. This ultra-breathable blanket comes in various sizes, weights, and colors, including grey and navy blue, light grey and pink, and more. It is made with 100% cotton and features seven layers of high-quality materials lined with polyester padding and two extra polyester layers filled with millions of premium micro glass beads. This unique structure ensures optimal temperature control. The blanket also comes with a removable pre-attached minky duvet cover for an added warmth on colder nights and can be removed during warm nights. With this super-comfy heavy blanket, you no longer have to suffer sleepless cold nights.

4. Have A Substitute Smaller Bed In Another Room

When you’re sleeping alone, a queen-sized or a king-sized bed feels too big for you, and you can’t help but notice the empty space on the other side of the bed. Getting an additional smaller, ideally, a twin-sized bed is the solution to this problem. The perfect combination is the Zinus Shawn 14-inch Smartbase Mattress Foundation (view on Amazon) and the Linenspa 10-inch Memory Foam and Innerspring Hybrid Mattress (view on Amazon). The bed frame can easily assemble without requiring any tools. It is also equipped with caps to protect your floor. The mattress features a thick layer of memory foam that conforms perfectly to your curves to help eliminate pressure points and increase comfort. Together, this pair will help you sleep soundly and comfortably.

If at all possible, it would work best to place the bed in a separate room. A separate bedroom with an extra bed can also be useful when you have a guest staying the night.

5. Use Blue Light Blocking Glasses

Pretty much everyone nowadays is either on their phone or computer or perhaps watching on the TV before going to bed. In this era where technology is dominant, being in front of a screen seems like routine.

Blue light is an artificial light that is generated from your phone, computer, or TV. It messes with your body’s production of the sleep hormone melatonin, the hormone responsible for making you feel sleepy. Direct exposure to blue light can result in not being able to sleep.

While we can’t resist using our phones or watching TV, what we can do to shield ourselves from this harmful, artificial light is use the PROSPEK Computer Glasses Blue Light and Glare Blocking (view on Amazon). It comes with various sizes, colors, and magnification to suit your needs and preferences. It also helps reduce eye strain, prevents dryness, and relieves stress on your eyes while using a computer, phone, or TV. Using blue light blocking glasses, especially at night before heading to bed, will help you sleep effortlessly.

6. Swap The Caffeine Or Wine For Herbal Tea

Caffeine has a disruptive effect on sleep, and although wine may help you fall asleep easier, it should be avoided. If you’ve grown accustomed to having your daily caffeine or alcohol fix, you should consider swapping them for Chamomile tea. Chamomile tea has been used as a simple, natural remedy to treat insomnia. It is commonly considered to be a mild tranquilizer or sleep inducer.

Additionally, an antioxidant called apigenin that produces calming effects are found in abundance in chamomile tea. Harney & Sons Chamomile Herbal Tea consists of 20 sachets. It is also Kosher and Caffeine-free and has a light floral fragrance with a subtle smell of apples. Switching to Herbal Tea and making it a part of your daily routine will significantly improve your sleep quality.

Kris Peter

I am a lifelong advocate of sleep, continually learning, and striving to be better than I was yesterday.

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